I have to write for two of you now.   Today, Ian is two months old and Aidan is 39 months.  You both seem to be doing quite well.  I am happy, Aidan, that you are warming up to your new little brother and my wish for you both is that you become life long friends as well as family.

Family is always a given and in most cases, you are stuck with them for better or worse. My wish for you two is that it is a life long support system that enriches  your life more than any THING could.  Take care of each other!

Here is a pic of the family in Shanghai that shows everyone. It was a nice lunch with Margaret father and his new partner.  Good reason for us all to get together.

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I have moved my Letters to Aidan over here for now as a start. It has been awhile since the last post. Aidan is now three!  He is in school! Most important, he now has a little brother, Ian!  All these are big things and it has been fun to watch. Aidan is chattering away in English and Chinese, dealing with his new relationship in the family with Ian,  and growing in every way.

Ian was born Nov 23rd and is now about 6 weeks. He is very healthy and a big eater. Already he is over 11 pounds.  He looks like Aidans twin if you look at their Day 1 pics. The top pic is Ian on Day 1..the  bottom one is Aidan on Day 1 – three years ago.

Its amazing.  Ian came out a little later and looks like he might be a bigger boy, at least starting out. He eats everytime he is awake.

Aidan is a little jealous and insecure at this point, but he doesn’t appear to be a problem. We are getting him involved and trying to reassure him as much as possible.  He seems to be getting it.

We have been keeping our photo gallery up to date.  You see it HERE.

You are walking around now, getting into everything, and delightfully having a good time exploring the world. I can tell you are trying to get as much as experience as possible and build up your sense of awareness about what is important in the world. You have really shown an interest in the alphabet, and Baby Einstein is still your favorite enterntainment. Perhaps because it is largely non verbal and relatable to you at this stage. Even so, you are expanding your mind and having seen Baby Einstein a few hundred time, it does not hold your attention as long as it used to .

The world around us in an interesting place, ready to go through all kinds of changes. We are in Shanghai, but I watch with some concern at the events taking place in the US, where your Baba is from. Not sure if you will even grow in world in which there is a country called United States, by the time they are done there. It is a concern. Right now, Shanghai seems very safe.

The is changing rapidly. As I mentioned, you will live in a world that is very different from the world your Mama and Baba grew up in. But there are things worth knowing you can take into this new world. We hope to give you some ideas on which you can build a solid character and make the best of your life.

With your ability to focus, comes a tremendous power. Whatever you set your sights on will gather your full energy and attention. This will make things happen. In some later post, I might talk about Creative Thought, and how this ability to focus your thoughts and emotions can make things happen very magically. For now, just know, you have a gift. It is important to use on something worthy of your effort. Easy now, with a family around you and only the concerns of a being a baby. later you may have to choose and the choices may be hard.
I hope we can help you to develop the ability to choose, so that your life is happy, healthy, and full of opportunity.
More later
Your Baba.

No sooner you returned from the US, working out your jetlag, than you became a baby model and had three different photo shoot.
We have a nice chinese new year at home with baba and mama and your Shanghai family. You made some friends, saw some big noisy fireworlks. All in all, it was pretty good.

So from the collage of recent pics, you can see yourself with several of the people who are around you, that love you. Mama, Baba, Ayi, Grandma El, Grandpa Ma, Uncle George, Cousin Cera and Aunt Maggie. You have a charming and charismatic personality. This is a good thing, but unless you grow into it with the right attitude, it could get you in trouble.

You are coming into this life with lots of advantage. You need to learn to use it well and for the good of those around you. You will always be a guy to who people notice, and love easily. But you can’t let it take over and spoil you. You need to balance some of your good fortune with an attitude of positive humility and service. Perhaps not an easy task for someone who will have things come easily in life.. but in the end.. what you give will be what is given to you.

“And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make” the beatles

At my office, the girls in the office went out and bought a cake for you. We celebrated and lit your first candle. Your friend Ayi Mandy gave us a call and sent her best wishes all the way from Abu Dhabi, which is very far away. Most important, your mom, with her busy schedule, took the day off to be with you, take you in for check up, and enjoy the crispy, sunny fall day with you.

Through all the excitement and attention, all the noise, and clapping, and chaos, you remained a happy guy, taking everything in stride. You seemed to be aware of people and engaged the world around you with a smile.

Its has been awhile since I posted here, but I want to let you know I think about things every day I want to tell you about. I am sure I will. I am also sure that anything important is something you will learn, whether or not I give you my opinion. Still, I should keep up the blog so you at least have the benefit my impressions now, when you read them later on.

Much more to write about what a son should know.. and I will.

You are now 9 months plus and starting to crawl, pushing yourself around the living room floor with one foot and investigating everything. You are fascinated by the wheels on your toy cars and love to spin the globe around. Baby Einstein is all your ever watch and I am sure your ABC’s and 123″s will come easily with this input.

You continue to impress us how smart, happy, and easygoing you are. You love your bath, you are happy eating whatever comes to you, and sleep all night most of the time. More than most parents of infants can hope for.

In terms of this posts “What a son should know”.. I cannot help but think that you will figure these things out yourself. You have a tremendous amount of charisma that will already showing and getting the attention of people all over. What I can say, is that I hope you don’t get spoiled. That is I hope you treat the people around you well whatever your station and theirs. And I hope you embrace life with passions and energy. Based on what I see so far, I don’t think that will be a problem.

Hi little one,

We don’t know if you are boy or girl yet. But you have been quite a travelor inside mommy’s tummy. We went to Bali when mommy was pregant about 10 days. Then we joined Connolly family for Alaska cruise when mommy was 5 month pregant (see photo) and we also stopped by Whitehorse and Victoria so technically you have been to Canada already. The pregnancy has been smooth sailing from the very beginning. Mommy only has very mild morning sickness (BTW, anti-acid tablet with cherry flavor was the life saver) and we swim quite a few times per week to prepare for your water birth at Changning Maternity, where mommy was born about 35 years ago.

The due date is Dec 4th so mommy thought it is safe to work until Nov 15th. My colleagues also invited for a team building outing on Nov 10th. But on Nov 8th Mommy woke up middle of the night (2am more precisely) and found my water broke (never thought this is the way labor will start). The training at maternity school kicks in so I called 120 to send an ambulence as mommy needs to lie down flat. Good mommy has been a good planner so the hospital bag was already packed. Daddy grabbed the key and 20 minutes later we arrived at the hospital.

Chinese hospital do not let the guys to enter the wards so daddy had to wait outside. As 2007 was the year of golden pig, a lot of people were having babies so we couldn’t get a private room. Mommy joined 3 other mom-to-be which actually was kind of fun. I was too excited to sleep and doctor said your head position still high so I can’t sit up. My neighbours went through the labor pain that night and delivered baby in the morning. 2 boys and 1 girl and they are all good size 3kg+.

During the day of Nov 9th, two more batches of mom-to-be came in and left. Again all boys and by then I was used to their routine by observing how doula works. People’s tolerance for pain definitely vary quite a lot. For some the laughing gas seem to work and for others the pain was just too much to bear. My doctor said I need to get the drip to speed up the contraction. They also put on a bottle for one of my neighbours. For her it only took a minute before she starts to scream for pain (due to strong contraction caused by the med). But for me after the whole bottle I only openned 1 cm. By the it was 6pm so the nurse said they will call it a day and will try again the next day. They said natural birth was still better option since my water was very clear so no worries. I was more concerned that if we delay this further my baby could be borned on Nov 11th, which is Guang Gun Jie (Bachelor Holiday). “It will not be good if we have a boy.”

That night I was sleepiness again and observe new batch of neighbours came and went. It became very uncomfortable as I couldn’t sit up so I have to do everything on the bed which drove me crazy. All I wanted at that time was the option to get up and walk around. By morning, I started to wonder if C-section is a more viable option and I requested. Fortunately on 10th nurse told me no operation doctor is available on weekend unless pre-scheduled. So we decided to try another bottle of drip and that was 1pm. This time it worked like a charm. 3pm I was dialated to 3cm and my doula came in (a very young lady). She asked me how I felt and if I needed epidural or laughing gas. I actually felt quite okay so I decided not to be poked by needle again (those thick needle for drip really hurts). Wanted to try water birth but the hospital has policy that baby must be full term (37 weeks) but mine is only 36 weeks plus 4 days. Well, let’s try to do this on land then…The contraction became more intense but what worked for me is I listen to music on my Treo 680 while adopting yoga breathing technique. Before 7pm I was dialated 8cm ready for the delivery room.

Because it has been no signs of contraction so daddy, grand father and other friends all returned home. I called them again saying “You probably want to come over. This time it is for real.” Took my Treo 680 into the delivery room so I can stay in touch with everyone. After 45 min pushing (I was on the phone between pushes to talk to your daddy), 7:45pm I heard a gental baby cry and doula immediately showed me “Congrats, you have a Didi (Chinese for little brother)”. I quickly glanced at my baby boy. Yeah, 10 fingers and 10 toes! He is sooooo cute and soooo red!! Doula was weighing the boy and she said “Wow, your boy was born eye open and he is now staring at me!” I smiled and use my camera phone to take a photo. Nurse handed me the boy wrapped in blanket so we cuddled for 2 hours. Then I had to return to another room while baby stay overnight in the baby care center because they ran out of after-birth ward I guess. On the way out, we saw daddy and grand father (they were really happy to see you!). Mommy felt quite relieved but missed you terribly that night. Again, I was sharing room with 3 other ladies and I had the opportunity to coach these mom-to-be as they go through labor process. The stiches do not hurt that much so I was happily walking around without nurse’s help. To me, this was the best I felt in 3 days…

During the pregnancy, I often felt that I really need to change who I am ( and their are certain habits I really should leave behind in order to be a better influence ) and now I am not so sure. My main concern was becoming a new parent at my age. Unless I change my direction on a few things, I am worried that I might not be able to travel this road with him for as long as I would like to. I have no doubt that you will grow and make your way in world. Even at this current young age, I see you have what it takes. I have no doubt that your mom is the best possible mother you can have. For me, being a good dad and leaving a bit of myself with you was a motivating factor in doing this blog. I am have been reassured by other that I can play this part well and will be around as long as I need to. I just have to get it myself.

I am Happy, Aidan, that you are my son. Here’s to many more Father’s Days.